My House

Today I want to talk about two of my favorite pastimes- "The A-Team" and putting jabronies in their place.  And when the two intersect, well that's just awesome.  I love it when a plan comes together.

I was working as the public address announcer for the Kannapolis Intimidators in the summer of 2009.  That was a cool side gig- decent bucks, close to home and we had non-stop fun in the press box.

One of the between inning contests that season was the "Time Warner Cable Name That TV Theme Song" promotion.  We'd pick a TV theme, blare it throughout the stadium and fans would run to the info booth and turn in their answers.  We'd pick a winner from the right answers.  Pretty simple.

Someone loaded "The A-Team" theme into the computer, so of course I have music man/press box sidekick Drake play it immediately.  We look into the next booth and see the team's play-by-play announcer, a likeable if somewhat aloof lad, giving us a thumbs down and sticking his finger down his throat.  Bad move.

The announcer even came into our booth and requested "The A-Team" theme be stricken from the playlist.  I obliged by asking Drake to play it during EVERY contest until further notice.

So we did.  The contest basically became the "Name the A-Team Theme" every night.  We probably played it 15 straight games.  Fans would rush to turn in their answers before the contest started.  We would see team officials chuckling on the concourse.  But best of all, it genuinely annoyed the announcer.  And that was most excellent.

But one night, we arrived at the press box to find the announcer sitting smugly in our booth.  Junior informed us that he deleted the "A-Team" theme from the computer and that "I win!"  He proudly put his feet up on the console and leaned back in the chair, taking in his apparent victory.

However, much like the villains in many an episode of  "The A-Team", Corky made one mistake.  He left us  time to think. 

I asked Drake to go online and google "A-Team lyrics".  Within seconds, we had the rundown of the narration that introduced each episode of Hannibal and crew.  Drake got me a copy, and we waited.

So the time came for the contest, and Little Bob Costas looked over with glee as he wondered what we could come up with as a replacement.  He even patted himself on the back in a display of arrogance, another common trait of nefarious delinquents.

I shrugged my head, looked defeated and started the contest.  This time, I announced, report to the info booth if you could identfiy the TV show by these lyrics:

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. They promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no-one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team"

I then turned to the announcer's booth and smiled.  He then stood up and bowed down to admit defeat.  During the break, I (probably somewhat loudly) proclaimed that the press box was "My House!" and I always win.

In the end, he provided with me a perfect way to end the "A-Team" celebration.  The gag had run its course, and it was time to pull the plug.  But the announcer set me up with the chance to deliver one final knockout.  Perfect.  Almost as if I planned it.

I Remember

My friends Alex and Jess (War Eagle!) got engaged one year ago today.  Both are in grad school, and they have yet to set a wedding date.  But it's not too early to pass along the best advice I received leading up to my wedding.  Simply put, slow down and remember the moments.

We (especially Kim) were frantic in the days and weeks leading up to our November wedding.  Unforeseen circumstances led to several major changes just prior to our big day.  We wondered if we would be able to pull off a wedding at all, much less provide a happy experience to friends and family who were making the trek to the beach to celebrate with us.

But Kim had several friends tell her they got so caught up in the details that their actual wedding ceremony was just a blur.  They remembered so very little about what was the most special time of their lives.

So Kim and I decided we would not allow that to happen to us.  We made a point to slow down, take it all in and remember moments both big and small.  And I will always remember:

...how much fun it was setting up at the church the day before the wedding and the last minute barbecue dinner we threw together

...how the wacky minister wanted to have four or five counseling sessions with Kim and me- and how that turned into one 10-minute meeting before the rehearsal

...the look of pure outrage on Kim's face when the wacky minister, in that 10-minute session, told her I was the boss of the relationship

...how red Kim's face got when I told the wacky minister, "Good point."

...how lonely it was to spend the night before our wedding without Kim, how much I genuinely missed her, and how happy I was to know I would not have to be without her again

...how it had been unusually cold in the days before the wedding, but it was 70 degrees without a cloud in the sky on our wedding day

...going with my best friend and best man Lee to pick up the wedding cake, which was made by my Aunt Marlene.  Mainly because so many people had told us to be careful with the cake, we were convinced we were going to destroy it. (We didn't.)

...making sure I honored the tradition of not seeing the bride before the wedding.  It made for a long stay in the bathroom for Kim, who patiently waited while we brought in the cake

...preparing to take family pictures before the wedding, only to turn around and see my cousin Toni wearing her Redskins jersey over her dress.

...spending time with Lee and his son (and my Godson) Drake in the final moments before the wedding

...the realization that after 40 years, suddenly I would no longer be a single man

...the wacky minister using the word "fornication" during the early stages of the ceremony

...walking out in the church and seeing all the friends and family, some of whom I hadn't seen in several years, who made long drives to be with us

...seeing Kim's matron of honor (also named Kim) walk down the aisle, remembering how I took her to prom, and realizing how instrumental she was in Kim and I getting together

...watching the flower girl, Kim's two-year-old niece, dropping petals and saying "Uh-oh" as she came up the aisle

...seeing my Kim enter the church and gasping at how amazingly beautiful she looked

...how I cried going over our vows at the rehearsal, but kept my composure during the ceremony.  I told Kim it was the broadcaster in me.

...kissing my wife for the first time

...my great-uncle Hoot, who is in his mid-to-late 80's, meeting Kim for the first time and LOUDLY telling her "I....am your uncle...Hoot!"

...my friend Lisa proudly updating the Wisconsin-Indiana football score in the receiving line.  Her beloved Badgers won 83-20

...bacon-wrapped shrimp!

...going to "The Point" at Cherry Grove and taking pictures on the beach

...playing a game of "Tag", while still in my tux, with some of the children who were there

...being at the church at the end of the day, after everyone else had left, and just holding Kim

...how, despite everything that had happened leading up to the wedding, I would not change a single thing about that day.  Because, at the end of the day, this picture is what our wedding day was all about.

And that, I promise, I will always remember.

Awesome Shows You Didn't Watch

I'm a fan of the NBC comedy "Community" and think Joel McHale and friends are the sharpest ensemble on TV today.  But America seems to disagree.  According to TVbythenumbers.com, "Community" ranked 138th in total viewers this season.  I figured the show, which just completed its second season, must be strong with the young demographic.  Wrong again.  Abed and friends placed just 94th in the key 18-49 demo.

The show is clever, tight and laugh-out-loud funny.  So why is "Community" not a hit?  I love you, but the answer is you America.  And it's not the first time you've missed the boat on a potential classic.  Here, as a public service, are shows that should have made it big- but didn't.

"It's Your Move" (1984-85)

I mentioned in my first blog that I would tell you why this show should have won an Emmy.  I wasn't lying.  Jason Bateman perfected the snarky character he developed in "Silver Spoons" and took it another level as Matthew Burton.  He was always running scams, but ultimately met his match in his mom's new boyfriend, Norman (Married With Children's David Garrison.)  Matthew had a great sidekick in the pudgy Eli, plus he had a hot mom and hot sister.  And this show also featured perhaps the greatest character actor ever, Ernie Sabella.  A recipe for awesomeness, but the audience never found it and "It's Your Move" lasted just 18 episodes.  It's a shame, because "The Dregs of Humanity" two-parter ranks among my favorite sitcom episodes ever.



USA Network aired reruns for a bit in the '90s, but sadly the series hasn't seen the light of day since then.  Thank goodness for Youtube.

"Crazy Like a Fox" (1984-86)

I was a fan of all the 80's hourlong detective/cop/crime shows (Magnum, The A-Team, Simon & Simon, Hart to Hart, etc.)  This forgotten gem stands up there with them.  Jack Warden was the loose cannon detective. John Rubinstein played his uptight lawyer son.  Chaos ensued and was solved in an hour.  Warden was nominated for an Emmy in both seasons, and there was a reunion movie in 1987.





"Freaks and Geeks" (1999-2000)

This much-loved, little watched series is on many people's underappreciated list.  If you never watched it, think "Wonder Years" set in 1980.  In my opinion, the series would have had a better chance at success as a half-hour show, rather than 60 minutes.  But there's no denying the quality.  Judd Apatow produced the show, which helped launch the careers of James Franco, Seth Rogen and Jason Segel.  Fortunately, the complete series is on DVD. 

"Blue Thunder" (1984)

The far superior, but less successful of the helicopter shows of the 80's.  Somehow "Airwolf" lasted for three seasons, while "Blue Thunder" flamed out after 11 episodes.  Based on the movie starring Roy Scheider, the TV series starred James Farentino.  But what made "Blue Thunder" awesome was the supporting cast.  I give you Dick Butkus, Bubba Smith and to top it off, a pre-"Saturday Night Live" Dana Carvey.  Touchdown!  I'm proud to say that I own the complete series DVD.






"Boston Common" (1996-97) /"The Single Guy"(1995-97)

I loved both of these shows, and technically they were both "hits" during their rookie seasons.  NBC's Must See Thursday, led by "Seinfeld" and "Friends" was ruling the airwaves and whatever the Peacock trotted out to round out the night became smashes.  Or as Jerry Seinfeld himself referenced in "The Butter Shave" episode, they were the timeslot hits- the fish eating his laughs.  (See Veronica's Closet, Suddenly Susan, Caroline in the City and Union Square.)  "Boston Common" and "The Single Guy" were the best of that group.  Both were in the top-10 in their first season, then floundered when NBC moved them to other nights.  No DVDs for either show.  Both ran on USA's morning comedy block in the late 90s.  Incidentally, Zach Galifianakis made his TV debut in "Boston Common", in a recurring role as a stoner character.

Honorable Mention:

"Sledge Hammer!" (1986-88)

I love it for the fact that the producers thought the show would be canceled after one season, so in the final episode had Hammer accidentally blow up the city.  Then the show was renewed, and the second season became a prequel.  "Trust me.  I know what I'm doing."

"Arrested Development" (2003-2006)

Another critical darling.  Another Jason Bateman vehicle.  Can't say I was a regular viewer, but the shows I did watch were hysterical. 

"Goodnight, Beantown" (1983-84)

I honestly can't say I remember much about this show, which starred Bill Bixby and Mariette Hartley.  I just remember I liked it.  And TV/radio shows almost always work for me.

"Sara" (1985)

Geena Davis starred in this legal aid comedy, which also featured Alfre Woodard, Bill Maher (!) and Bronson Pinchot.  This may be Pinchot's only role where he doesn't speak with a funny accent.