My friends Alex and Jess (War Eagle!) got engaged one year ago today. Both are in grad school, and they have yet to set a wedding date. But it's not too early to pass along the best advice I received leading up to my wedding. Simply put, slow down and remember the moments.
We (especially Kim) were frantic in the days and weeks leading up to our November wedding. Unforeseen circumstances led to several major changes just prior to our big day. We wondered if we would be able to pull off a wedding at all, much less provide a happy experience to friends and family who were making the trek to the beach to celebrate with us.
But Kim had several friends tell her they got so caught up in the details that their actual wedding ceremony was just a blur. They remembered so very little about what was the most special time of their lives.
So Kim and I decided we would not allow that to happen to us. We made a point to slow down, take it all in and remember moments both big and small. And I will always remember:
...how much fun it was setting up at the church the day before the wedding and the last minute barbecue dinner we threw together
...how the wacky minister wanted to have four or five counseling sessions with Kim and me- and how that turned into one 10-minute meeting before the rehearsal
...the look of pure outrage on Kim's face when the wacky minister, in that 10-minute session, told her I was the boss of the relationship
...how red Kim's face got when I told the wacky minister, "Good point."
...how lonely it was to spend the night before our wedding without Kim, how much I genuinely missed her, and how happy I was to know I would not have to be without her again
...how it had been unusually cold in the days before the wedding, but it was 70 degrees without a cloud in the sky on our wedding day
...going with my best friend and best man Lee to pick up the wedding cake, which was made by my Aunt Marlene. Mainly because so many people had told us to be careful with the cake, we were convinced we were going to destroy it. (We didn't.)
...making sure I honored the tradition of not seeing the bride before the wedding. It made for a long stay in the bathroom for Kim, who patiently waited while we brought in the cake
...preparing to take family pictures before the wedding, only to turn around and see my cousin Toni wearing her Redskins jersey over her dress.
...spending time with Lee and his son (and my Godson) Drake in the final moments before the wedding
...the realization that after 40 years, suddenly I would no longer be a single man
...the wacky minister using the word "fornication" during the early stages of the ceremony
...walking out in the church and seeing all the friends and family, some of whom I hadn't seen in several years, who made long drives to be with us
...seeing Kim's matron of honor (also named Kim) walk down the aisle, remembering how I took her to prom, and realizing how instrumental she was in Kim and I getting together
...watching the flower girl, Kim's two-year-old niece, dropping petals and saying "Uh-oh" as she came up the aisle
...seeing my Kim enter the church and gasping at how amazingly beautiful she looked
...how I cried going over our vows at the rehearsal, but kept my composure during the ceremony. I told Kim it was the broadcaster in me.
...kissing my wife for the first time
...my great-uncle Hoot, who is in his mid-to-late 80's, meeting Kim for the first time and LOUDLY telling her "I....am your uncle...Hoot!"
...my friend Lisa proudly updating the Wisconsin-Indiana football score in the receiving line. Her beloved Badgers won 83-20
...bacon-wrapped shrimp!
...going to "The Point" at Cherry Grove and taking pictures on the beach
...playing a game of "Tag", while still in my tux, with some of the children who were there
...being at the church at the end of the day, after everyone else had left, and just holding Kim
...how, despite everything that had happened leading up to the wedding, I would not change a single thing about that day. Because, at the end of the day, this picture is what our wedding day was all about.
And that, I promise, I will always remember.
